So, recently I started feeling a bit..”different” I guess is the right way to put it. But I guess I should tell you all when it started. When I was young, 9 or 10. Somewhere in that age range, I really just loved wolfs. I loved running around in the forest or wooded areas. The out doors really felt like my true home, and the feel of being around nature really put me at ease of mind. Now I never dove too deeply into it as kid (i.e growling, whining like a wolf or growing my fingernails sharp enough for claws). But as time went on I eventually made ears and a tail for myself, they weren’t the best but I thought they really suited me. I also just HATED being indoors. It was a living hell almost and I was constantly wanting to go outside. Even when it snowed, but that was my favorite. Rolling around in the snow with nothing but a tshirt and jeans was the best. My mother started noticing my qwerks and eventually sought out therapy for myself, along with destroying my ears and tail I had made. The theorpy “Worked” enough for my mother to buy it but by then I was eventually just feeding them bullshit just for the constant visit’s to stop. They didn’t find anything mentally wrong with me, they just thought I was a kid who loved the outdoors, so it eventually stopped. We ended up moving and I had transferred to a new school But I wanna saw around my middle school years is when I really went into a soul search for it. Where I started questioning my day to day actions. On weather or not being human and holding these feelings back was my true self. Well I eventually bumped into a group of people at my middle school. Now by this point I had remade my ears and tail but kept them hidden, but I wore them to school after about 3 months and this group noticed it and called me over. I talked to these guys for about a month and became friends with them, but this was the first time they saw me wearing my tail and ears. They were labeled as the weird bunch, outcasts, or whatever you want to label them. They called out my ears and tail asking me about them. I told them they were my wolf ears and tail, and that it made me feel like my true self, or at least a small bit. They offered for me to come over for the weekend and eventually I went over. My mom was a bit sketched because of a new town, but their parents talked to mine and my mom let me go over. When I had gotten over to the main head of the groups house I was told by the kids parents to head upstairs into his room, that they were up there. I went into his room, greeted by my friends but I noticed something. They were all wearing ears and tails, each for who they best identified most with. Some wearing collars, some not. I gave them an odd look but without saying a word I knew what was up. They knew I was struggling emotionally at home and at school, so they all set this up to show me I wasn’t alone. I was getting teary eyed, finally knowing I wasn’t the only one. They asked if I had brought mine, but I said no. They didn’t mind but they suggested I did next time. All of us but one were canine related, but we had one feline. They explained to me about my ears and tails and promptly asked me which animal I best identify with. I told them wolf but they said that it has to be something more than that. They asked me various questions and eventually the figured out that I best relate with an Arctic Wolf. It was the best night of my life honestly. I told them everything I did as a kid. They all smiled, and listened. I was finally talking to a group that understood me. After a long talk and a warm meal we went out for a very long walk in a forest just outside town and we just walked. I hung out with them more and more after that night. I got into play biting and mock hunting as well. We eventually formed a small pack and we all became very close. We all went through the hell of middle school together, and we all eventually wore our ears and tails together in public as well. Now we didn’t stand out much besides that. We were all pretty normal looking as well. Not emo or Gothic look by just the normal day look just with added ears and tail. I eventually had to move due to financial reasons, right when I was about to become a freshman with the pack. We all hung out for one final night, and spent the night in a cave, all huddled together. Carving our names into the cave wall the following morning. I was heart broken, I wanted to drop dead. My mom eventually found out about my pack and resent me to counseling for most of my high school life. Claiming I was fucked in the head and this isn’t normal. I was torn again. My own mother claiming her son was fucked up. I went through a downward spiral of depression. I eventually met my future fiance. We were both freshman and I didn’t say a word to him about my feelings of my wolf self. We hung out for years and years, doing my best to hide it. We eventually fell in love our senior year and started secretly dating due to his religious parents. One day we were just relaxing in his room, and he wanted to show me something. He walked out into his closet and came back wearing a fox tail and ears to match, I was stunned and happy again. I asked him about it, and he said that it felt natural to be a fox. He said he had felt that way since he was a kid but just had no one to relate to or tell and he eventually let it all out and I supported him. I told him my story and he supports me. I am now a senior in high school, but I’m still torn. My mother still thinks I’m a freak but my fiance is doing his best to help me. I really need you guys to help me too. Is what I am doing wrong? Just feeling comfortable when I’m true self? Am I fucked in the head? I just need to know.