Me and my wife were downstairs watching a hallmark movie, and a cranberry sprite commercial Turned on. That was when me and her decided to go to bed. We both had a long day at work and were feeling very tired. As I brushed my teeth I felt a sweet clear carbonation come out of my mouth as I washed out my mouth, but due to the tired state I was in I thought nothing of it. I later went into my bed and within seconds of falling into the mattress I fell asleep cold. I woke up at 3am, as I always seem to do and went to the bathroom and noticed my urine was a clear carbonated color, like when I washed my mouth out, so later that day I scheduled an appointment with my doctor. When I saw him he said that this was a unique condition and he had seen nothing of it. He told me to keep note of when it happened, and with what fluids. Later that day I was in my house with my wife when I see a broken down old white van pull up outside my front lawn. I assumed they were a company and were working with my next door neighbors, when a tall African American man walks out with something in his hands that appears to make out some sort of rod and a red can. I later hear loud banging on my door and a voice screaming “open the door right now!!” I immediately pull out my cell phone and in terror call 911 trying to speak quietly so this man doesn’t hear while my wife runs to the gun safe and pulls out a shot gun for protection. As the banging gets louder and louder me and my wife shiver in fear, until the door falls down. LeBron James with a lakers jersey, a baton, and a sprite cranberry appears in the doorway. Immediately he runs over to me and pulls out a gun form his waist, and threatens to shoot. Me in terror stands in front of my wife and grabs the shotgun, and with a nervous twitch I switched the safety and pulled the trigger…but nothing. The gun appears to be jammed. Even more terrified I check the bullet compartment to see it gushing with sprite cranberry. All of a sudden all our toilets and sinks start overflowing and gushing out sprite cranberry and flooding the house. LeBron says “you should’ve just bought it when you saw the commercial, I guess we will have to take care of you!” When I hear the word “we” I am immediately puzzled until I see some sort of grey figure appear in the distance from the van. He runs to my house and is equipped with an ak47. I later realize he is the hippo in the “Lion sleeps tonight” children’s animation, and I am in terror. I scream “What will you to do us?!” And LeBron responds “oh I won’t do anything, he’ll take care of it”. Right as the hippo opens for fire both him and LeBron are distracted by flashing blue and red lights in the background. It is this moment I realize it is the cops! They rush to the house, and take down both LeBron and the hippo, saving me and my wife. To this day I am thankful the cops were there, because I don’t know what could possibly of happened if they weren’t. What to take from this is if LeBron James has one query that consists of him offering you a sprite cranberry, just know the answer is clear. Thank you.