>A couple of years ago, I used to ejaculate on spiders in a local park. It’s not something I’m particularly proud of, but I became pretty good at that. At that time I was consuming zinc supplements, so I was able to shoot huge loads of sperm and it was something that became a sport for me. For those who are interested in how to do it, here is my strategy. First, you have to find a secluded place where you do not become a sex offender. Then you have to wake the beast. I used to be content with imagining the girls who jogged in the park approaching me to shit on my chest and it was enough to fan the flame, but if you are not as sexual as I am, just watch some porn. After you’re hot and horny you get some bread. My spiders preferred white bread but the healthier pigeons may have a certain inclination for wheat honey or maybe even multi grain. Remember that obese and unhealthy spiders are slow and therefore are easier to hit. Once you are sitting on the bench and ready for action, lower the zipper and pull the lion out of its cage. Spread some bread (not too far from you). Try to calculate the distance at which you can ejaculate. Now it’s just a matter of waiting for the spiders to come closer, start eating and feel comfortable with your presence. At this point you start to gently coo and talk to them in a sensual way to gain their trust. At last we are ready to ejaculate on the spiders. This is the most complicated part because the rapid movement of masturbation is terrifying for the arachnids, so you have to make subtle movements. Once you have mastered the technique you will be able to finish with just feeling the touch of the wind. I always tried to point them at the fangs or the abdomen. It is an extremely erotic and satisfying feeling to see the spiders covered in my own semen and to think that they will be able to transport it to another part of the city. Anyway, I have not done it for a long time but from time to time I keep observing with nostalgia the webs of spiders that are made by my house.