One time when I was like 12-13ish, i decided to experiment as we all do. It seemed like a fucking amazing idea (when horny) to shove a hairbrush, no lube, up my ass. The hairbrush had ridges on it, and i assumed that would further enhance the sexual experience. It might’ve if i had damn lube. I shoved that fucker (literally) up in my asshole, and then proceeded to pull it out. Then to panic. It was stuck. What was i to do?? I asked myself *call 911*? Ofc not. I would not humiliate myself in such a way. *Yell for my mom?* no way. My mother was not going to pull this foreign object from my rectum. I was freaking out and just upon impulse, I YANKED THAT FUCKER

It hurt for days to shit.

The end