I shat everywhere in my house last night

It was absolutely fucking vile and disgusting. Whatever you’re imagining right now, it’s worse. Way worse. I’m still in utter shock and am completely apalled.

Last night, I woke up incredibly sick, with a very high temperature while somehow shivering severely to the point where I needed 3 heavy blankets on me. Yet my temperature was at 103.3 degrees. This was no hangover or anything, as I haven’t drank for weeks, not even on New Years Eve. I felt like absolute dogwater that entire day anyway. My stomach also was in immense pain.

Then, around 8:00 PM, when I thought everything was better, the stomach pain returned, I farted non-stop, and then suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my ass, and then I felt an unfathomable amount of shit about to burst out of my ass. I ran at what felt like supersonic speeds to the bathroom, but I was moving far too slow as I had to clench my asscheeks with every inch of my strength.

Then, when I was literally 2 steps away from the bathroom, the shit got to such a point where I was literally paralyzed in that spot due to my ass cheeks being clenched, the only way I could move was to stop clenching. I knew that wasn’t an option, but as I was pulling my pants down, my heart dropped. My ass cheeks unclenched by themselves, and a massive stream of liquidized shit fell out for what felt like minutes. It was like I was peeing out of my ass, but it was shit. It wasn’t stopping, with each step I took, it continued, with the shit getting all over the floor, I didn’t even have the courage to look down, until I finally got onto the toilet. When I did, I nearly vomited. Shit was all over my legs, caked on, as if I just took a dip in Willy Wonka’s chocolate river, and on the floor, the carpets were stained, a straight path of a shit pile was leading to the bathroom. I stepped all over the explosive diarrhea.

The toilet seat was the worst part, though. As soon as I got on, practically the entire seat was smeared with shit, it looked like when you wipe chocolate off your chin with a napkin, but it was everywhere. I saw from across the room my underwear, and it was sickening. It was like a light brown coffee had spilled all over it, but remained the way it did while in the cup.

As soon as I sat down, the diarrhea continued to fall out of me at supersonic speeds like piss. When I pushed, it got even worse when I heard explosive fart noises. I felt like I sat there for hours, waiting for all of the shit to come out. I immediately took a half an hour long shower, thoroughly cleaning my body, and then proceeded to spend another hour cleaning up the mess that I made in the hallway.

Even then, I can still smell the shit on my legs, despite it being completely gone.