Vincent Anton Freeman

\- Valid/Invalid status: impostor (among us)

 When Vincent was born an STD analysis from him indicated a high probability of medical retardation, including a 99% probability of autism and an expected life expectancy of 0.2 years. His father named him Vincent Morgan Freeman instead of Anton Freeman, not wanting his name to be tied to a son he was going to let die in a car crash (spoilers).

 Adolescent phase

 He dreamed of becoming an astronaut despite his family telling him he was retarded.

 Joe decides to let Freeman borrow his ladder and let him stay at his apartment in exchange for Freeman’s “services”, and eventually, he confesses he also wanted his “turn” with his wife’s boyfriend. After months of multiple changes to match Joe’s sheer length, Freeman is finally ready and applies for a cock rating. He gets an interview, which actually just consists of various length and girth tests, and gets an 8/10.

 During an “session” at the brothel, Vincent experiences blue balls while juggling his cock and balls and had to reject his next client, proving that the STD test about Vincent’s potential AIDS was true.

 While “providing his services” for Gattaca, Vincent meets another whore named Candice Dick. She is resigned to less favourable treatment due to her race; her initial attraction to Vincent is largely due to his perceived “second to none” penile superiority, causing her to be slightly jealous, as hers was only 7 and a half inches.

 Sucked Disguise

 After several of what became termed “Blue Balls Incidents”, Candice finally figures out the real identity of “Joe Mama” and that he is actually the “Impostor” that the crewmates were looking for him under suspicion of venting. She immediately leaves to call an emergency meeting, only to be stopped by Vincent’s 15-inch magnum dong. He convinces her that he wasn’t sus; she believes this, and their “professional relationship” is saved.

 The Journey to God

 Just hours before his great orgasm in the sky, Joe bids Vincent a final farewell, also providing him with two-lifetime supplies of STDs to use around the office. He also gives him a note, telling him not to open it until the next “Blue Balls Incident”.

 Right before going off on his acid trip, he must take one more cum test. As he thought Gattaca would be aware enough of his genetic retardation, Vincent did not bring a pack of Joe’s semen. However, the doctor taking the test, Doctor Landon Disdick, has been aware of Vincent’s cock-lengthening to Joe’s sheer scale and general degeneracy for some time, and also says that he has a son who’s “got a fucking one-inch cock and is retarded as shit” and that looks up to the Vincent, despite Vincent’s cock and retardation problems. Lamar ignores the scan, letting Vincent it is time for his final “Blue Balls Incident”, his great orgasm in the sky.

 As the rocket lifts off, Joe kills himself by cutting his dick in half, and attempts to use it as a paintbrush before bleeding out. Vincent opens the letter from Joe, which turns out to be a lock of Joe’s pubic hair. Vincent goes “ew, what the fuck”. Also, Vincent suddenly has a rush of cum as he leaves Earth, his final “Blue Balls Incident”, despite being treated like a slave. He further asks “who is Joe, anyway?” Having realised he had been played, he speeded back towards Earth, safely ejecting himself from his rocket ship. At that point, he was run over by a 1995 Toyota Corolla driven by Candice. “Fuck”, his final words were reported to be.