When I was a little kid I kind of had this problem. Not even that big of a deal, something like 8% of kids do it but whatever. For some reason I don’t know why, I would just kind of sit around all day and draw pictures of dicks. I’d sit there for hours and draw dicks. I don’t know what it was, but I couldn’t touch pen to paper without drawing the shape of a penis. Here I am just a little kid and I can’t stop drawing dicks to save my own life. In the classroom is where I did the majority of my illustrations. I was very secretive about this whole dick operation I had going on. Even I thought it was fucking crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think. So I would stash all my dick drawings in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. Turns out someone found out and told on me and she rats me out to the principal. The principal finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest and he fucking flips out. He calls in my parents. Turns out this principal is some religious fanatic and he thinks I’m possessed by some dick devil. My parents make me see the therapist and he is asking me dick questions. My parents made me stop eating foods shaped like dicks. No hot dog no Popsicles. Do you know how many foods are shaped like dicks? Like the best kind.