Holy fucking shit. I want to fuck the Duolingo bird so goddamn bad. I can’t stand it anymore. Every time I hear any language that’s not English I get so fucking hard. I’ve seen literally every nsfw photo of him online. My dreams are nothing but being trapped in Duolingos fat ass. I’m sick of waking up every morning knowing that I’ll never be able to taste his green fluffy cock. I want to fuck him so bad.

Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with the neighbours parrot. I’d painted him green and started going ham on him which ended up killing him. She hasn’t said a word to me in 10 hours and I’m worried she’s gonna take away my phone. I might not ever get to see Duolingo again.