This ended up being longer than I thought when I started. I apologize in advance.

The main thing that sticks with me started in 7th grade and lasted into high school. I had a friend named “G” who I would consider a “bro” when I first met him in middle school (though that word wasn’t really in my vocabulary yet). We became fast friends at school and I started to realize that I kind of liked him in a different way than I liked other guys. I was just starting puberty and figuring myself out so it was a rush of new feelings for me.

The first time we hung out outside of school was when he (and some other friends) came to my house for New Year’s Eve. We did the typical goofy stuff 14 years old did – ran around outside, watched tv, played video games, ate all sorts of snacks my dad made – but I remember I just wanted to be with G. When the ball had dropped and it was time for bed I tried to playfully jump into the bed with him and do “gay shit” just for laughs. All he had on were sweatpants and I still remember wrapping my arms around his back and chest and the feel of his skin. Eventually we all fell asleep and nothing was really said of it afterwards.

Over the next few months things started to get more interesting. G and I spent more time together, sleeping over at each other’s house almost every weekend. While there were usually other guys around, we had a special bond between us. It was my first bromance and I think looking back on it we might have been in love – or as much as you can be when you’re 14-16 years old. Since this all started over ten years ago, I can’t remember the exact sequence of events, but here are some of the things I remember fondly:

When we would watch movies, me and G would always share the sofa and make everyone else sit on the floor or wherever else. The usual position was each one of us at either end of the sofa with our legs/feet in the middle. Often times we would play a little footsie with each other or cross our legs over each other’s. We never said anything about it and just kind of pretended it wasn’t happening. I also remember one night we were watching a movie seated upright next to each other on the sofa. He crossed his leg over mine at the knee (us both wearing gym shorts) and acted like nothing was different. I put my arm around him and he put his around me and we kinda just hung out there for a little while until he broke it off… pretty sure I saw a boner in his shorts.

During sleepovers we would always share a queen bed together and being horny teenagers would usually rub one out before bed. My dad had stacks of Playboys that we looked at, but it was mainly him looking and me looking at his dick – something he had little problem showing off. After that we would roll over to our respective sides of the bed and go to sleep. However, in the morning we would often find our legs and/or arms intertwined and play a little footsie then as well. Things got better when we got high-speed internet because G would find any excuse to come over, drop his pants, and jerk off with me (not much privacy at his house with siblings and parents) even without having to plan a sleepover. We compared cocks a couple times but never “helped each other out” though I still regret not offering to do so.

One night we were all playing hide and seek at my house. There were probably five of us and I found myself in the closet with G (I KNOW!) after deciding to change hiding spots. The closet was packed with my sister’s junk so there wasn’t a lot of room to share, but that was ok with me. As we stood there trying to be quiet I felt G’s hand move to my butt and start massaging me through my jeans. I didn’t really know what to do so just returned the favor. He had an amazing ass that I could feel every part of though his gym shorts and I knew he was sporting a boner because it hit against me when he would shift position slightly. We didn’t say anything about it, just quietly giggled every now and then. When the night wound down and we got into bed the fun continued as we rubbed each other’s asses with our backs to each other. It only lasted a little while but it was absolutely amazing. Again, nothing was really said in the morning about it but he never complained about me touching his butt again.

My final little story was probably the one thing I regret not pursuing more with him. We were out at my friend’s farm one night and running around outside. The other guys ran ahead of us and he grabbed me before I went off to join them. He said “here, I want you to check this out.” He pulled my hand down to his crotch and ran it across the outline of his semi-erect dick though his jeans. It was amazing but I didn’t know what to do or say so I just hugged him really tight and joined my friends.

So, after all this amazing stuff you might think we got hot and heavy and he was my first hookup… but that was not the case. G got a girlfriend and started hanging out with me less and less. This really messed with my feelings and made me lose a lot of trust in close friends (something I’m still struggling with today). We stopped hanging out, stopped talking, and didn’t really consider each other friends anymore. By senior year things had patched up a little bit and we were cool with each other, but nothing close to what our relationship used to be.

I still don’t know if he was just experimenting and full of teenage hormones or might actually be gay/bi, but it was definitely some interesting times. G joined the Air Force after high school and kept up with me a little bit over IM and Facebook when he could. He called me a few years later when my dad died to talk about everything and we hung out a couple times in our hometown when I came home for the funeral and afterwards for Thanksgiving and Christmas. However, about a year later I lost contact again and haven’t heard from him since. Guess it’s probably for the best – he was a good friend and a hot guy, but I don’t need that emotional/sexual stress in my life.

Sorry this was long but I guess I had a lot of stuff to get out. I’ve never discussed this stuff with anyone before. Hopefully some of y’all can relate.