one day when the apocalypse happens we’ll meet after traveling for thousands of miles, and i’ll have my untouched deck of uno cards that i’ve been saving for this moment. you guys sigh and say, “Might as well.” i start shuffling, and state the rules, “no stacking, unless it’s skips or +2 cards. only one swap hands card is allowed per game.” simple enough. how wrong you are. within the first five seconds i’ve won with the worst hand imaginable. you think there’s something wrong, i must’ve been cheating! i was not. to prove this to you, i play with a blindfold on, not even able to see my own cards. i win within the first 15 seconds. enraged, you start yelling, “That’s impossible, you peeked!” i remain calm, letting you finish your tangent. “My child,” i say, with the blindfold still covering my eyes, “one does not need vision to win uno. one needs to feel the card, breath the card. the card is everywhere, but no where. we are the card. i am, the card.”