I have ascended beyond being a mere mortal. I have long since passed the standard and flawed “hydro homie”. I don’t drink water. Drinking water is for bitchass mortals, for every day I shoot 5 gallons of pure, raw water straight into my bloodstream. You think being a hydro GOD like me would have a companion of any type? FUCK NO! I fuck a bottle of water every night, so water can enter my godly and hydrated body through my penis. I never cum though, as that would be a waste of water, so I have had my sperm sacs surgically sealed with flex seal. I have attached a tube going from my bladder, directly into a needle going into my vain, because peeing would be a waste of water, and I CANNOT have that. The urine burns going back into my bloodstream, and my balls have gone black from all the decaying semen inside, but that’s a small price to pay for being the ultimate hydro homie. I have long since been banned from r/HydroHomies but those mortal fools will know soon enough how wrong they were. My mother has long since tried therapists but they all scream and run away when they see my godly body, for they cannot handle TRUE PERFECTION. I can only keep perfecting myself further. The next thing I plan to do is to attach a freezer to freeze the water in me so I can hold MORE WATER.