I want to organize a thorough watching of Nutshack. Guest will not be allowed to leave until the show reaches its completion, which will take several days due to activities we will throw in between. Anyone attempting to leave will be shot. In between episodes we will organize group discussion in order to analyze the complex issues that the show raises. Groups will be assigned to write a research paper on Nutshackology, I entirely new field founded by the makers of, you guessed it NUTSHACK. Haha. At night we will take time to appreciate the sexuality of the show and have a Nutshack themed orgy with music by DJ Tito “Dick” Dickman, or the greatest musician to have ever lived. At the end of this retreat if you survive you will be given a certificate of completion, and a permanent brand on you ASS indicating for the rest of your life that you sat through an entire watching of Nutshack and that you are a new man because the show made you that way. It made you what no other God, or spouse or fucking family could ever give. Nutshack is your fucking family. I only worry about those who are unable to find anything to compare it too. How will they live? That’s a question only a lifetime of mediation over Nutshack can answer. We need to learn from this show. We need to learn from its wisdom, and be prepared to kill for it if necessary.