I remember when I used to jack off in the shower as a kid I’d make sure I had to pee really bad before showering and then when I came at the last possible moment when my orgasm was about to wear off I’d relax my bladder and the jet off piss would extend my orgasm for as long as I was pissing. I also loved the pleasurepain from jerking off as hard as I could right after I came.

Another guilty pleasure is scrolling through my older brothers exes facebook. Not just for the obvious “bikini pic” reasons and fact that I once “accidentally” walked in on her getting dressed and using the toilet.

Firstoff I should say that I never actually dressed up as a tomboy and rubbed cum onto toilet paper in a womans mall food court bathroom (didn’t mail flowers to the photobucket student either), I figured that would be obvious cause of how ridiculous it was but most people seemed to believe me. I do have a huge fetish and many elaborate fantasies about women unwittingly handling my semen though.

It started about 8 years ago when I was 15. When I first started producing semen with my orgasms I freaked out, and was very meticulous about cleaning it up. Oftentimes I’d squeeze my dick and just let it dribble out and do the ‘ol “cup and slurp” and not have to bother with kleenex. From jerking off freely in the shower I realized how much better freely ejaculating felt and I vowed never to hinder my orgasms again. Once I got the internet in my room it naturally became my jerkoff center and having a large empty space of floor near my computer I’d just let my jizz fly freely.

Since I was jerking off 6-12 times a day paper towels would be a huge hassle, so I soon settled on t-shirts. I hated using my day to day clothes so a vintage ninja turtles t-shirt I’d last wore when I was 11 became my “jizz mop.” It was a group shot of all 4 turtles inside a circle and the way Michaelangelo smiled and gave the thumbs up was kind of like he was encouraging me to ejaculate.

I’d freely jizz all over the floor (usually to ideepthroat.com clips or short preview clips I found on magicteapot.com) then get the turtles shirt out of my desk drawer, mop it up and toss it back in the drawer. After 5 days and over 40 loads it was more cum than shirt and would refuse to absorb anything. At which point I’d do a wash, and reluctantly use kleenex as a backup.

My super cool 20 year old brother had an absolutely gorgeous and kind girlfriend he met at university, who often stayed over in our house during the summer. I live on a lake in Nova Scotia, and she’d often spend hours lazing out on the dock with my brother and I’ll admit to staring at her bikini cleavage through binoculars out my upstairs window and furiously whacking off.

One morning I went down to breakfast and saw her at the table wearing my turtles shirt. It took every ounce of energy not to point and shout “my jizz mop!!!” instead I said “oh, my old turtles shirt!” She laughed and said. “oh, it was in your brothers laundry. It’s got some grease stains but it’s super comfortable and makes a great pajama top!”

“Haha, no problem, you can keep it. I haven’t worn it in years!” This was fabric I had ejaculated on nearly a thousand times and she was wearing it! Even though it was washed I could clearly make out several cum stains and the fact they were touching her skin drove me wild. It was almost like I was constantly ejaculating on her milky skin every second she wore that shirt. My mom said “oh isn’t this nice!” when she saw us all eating breakfast together and took some pictures. Once they were developed I scanned them into my computer and they soon became my primary pornography. And I got instantly hard whenever I saw her at our house wearing the shirt and would have to sprint into my room to jerk off.

A few weeks later I was looking in my moms closet for my old nintendo system and games when I found a box of vintage t-shirts from the early 80’s. My brothers girlfriend wasn’t exactly a hipster but she LOVED vintage t-shirts. Looking through the box I realized many of the designs on the front were iron on patches. A lightbulb went off in my head and I got a glass of water, turned the shirt inside out and splashed some on the back of the patch. Sure enough when the shirt was de-insideouted no discoloration or darkness from the water was visible. I then hauled the box into my room, turned all the shirts with decals inside out, came into my handm and rubbed my semen all over the back of the patches and then hung them in my closet to dry. After a few hours I smelt them and though I didn’t really notice anything I rubbed a small amount of deoderant on them just to be safe.

I then lovingly refolded them and put them back in the box and in my moms room, then yelled to my brother, “hey look what I found!” “Holy shit! Sarah would love these!” And they ended up being part of his birthday gift to her. She screamed when she opened them and ended up trying on every shirt. She actually went for a jog with my brother that night and I’m almost certain the sweat and heat would have made caused the semen to leak and be absorbed by her skin, and travel through her bloodstream. For the next month she almost always wore a shirt that had absorbed my ejaculate, and it never failed to turn me on.

After a couple of years they broke up, as young lovers do. But it was on friendly terms and I now have her as a facebook friend, and she wears the turtles and iron on shirts to this day! She’s in an all girl indy/punk rockish band in Montreal now and on their facebook page you can see a few concert pics where her and her bandmates are all wearing the jizz shirts!

Whenever I have “masturbation block” and nothings doing it for me, all I need to do is open the folder of her pictures on my desktop, see my fossils touching her, and I’m home.