Thel ‘Vadam (The Arbiter from H2) killed 3 assassins butt ass naked when he was in his room after becoming Kaidon of Vadam Keep. He bluffed that he left one alive (when in reality he kicked their asses without so much as taking a scratch to his sexy Sangheili body) to root out the cuck lord who tried having him killed and it was a success. He also dropped his robes to show his peak performance and masculinity warrior body to all of his Vadam Keep members to not only prove he easily beat the ass of 3 pussies who had to try being sneaky but failed miserably, but also to show how goddamn sexy and manly he is. It’s said in various sources that Vadam Keep’s birth rates, and the entire state for that matter, had a extreme increase of Sangheili Hatchling Birthrates, as the pure testosterone creating, ovary shattering, and Four Mandible Jaw Dropping image of Thel’s perfect Sangheili form got every female and even some males in the entire state pregnant all at once. Hell, some females literally fucking DIED from just having an overload of sexual hormones from bearing witness to such a perfect being. The Males of Vadam Keep’s alien Balls shrunk inside their body, which is why we never see any Elites with male parts in the games.


Before you say “Thel doesn’t have anti ether??”, that’s rather the point you see. His massive penis is actually the byproduct of Precursor Technology to create the ultimate life form. Obviously, it was a total success. His penis is just so impressive and huge that mere mortal eyes simply can’t perceive it. But trust me, it’s there. They needed those two brutes to drag Thel to the Mausoleum of The Arbiter because his huge cock was so goddamn heavy. They almost had to bring in some Hunters to just lift him. Those Kig Yar who look like they want to eat Thel? Nonsense, they’re just so madly sex craved upon seeing such a beautiful and stunning figure in their cell room. And I’ll add that they didn’t rip off his armor JUST to brand him with the mark of shame. They simply were eager as the Forerunners themselves to exterminate ancient humanity to see his amazing bone structure and slender/beautiful Saurian body.


That’s why he “drew quite a crowd”, everyone on High Charity couldn’t resist seeing such a sight of eons of evolutionary progress and stars alining. Joe Staten actually states in the Developer Commentary that the Hierarchs didn’t actually make Thel the Arbiter to remove him as a political challenger. They had heard from Mendicant Bias himself in the Dreadnaught how goddamn sexy Thel was and simply couldn’t resist NOT seeing him in all of his festering glory nude. Their San ‘Shyuum penises simply quivered at the thought. I also want to add it wasn’t Chief that destroyed the ring. No no no no, that wasn’t the case at all you see…Thel’s humongous penis had literally smashed it in half like a galactic hammer and ended up accidentally destroying it. Even the Halo Rings themselves weren’t big enough to be Thel’s own personal cock rings. To his disappointment, he went on to find even more but alas, none every fit and snapped. The Covenant simply had to remove him due to overpopulation from his sexiness and manly prowess. It’s said that even Johnson himself can’t withstand a sexual encounter with Thel. Even with his own sexy manliness, he couldn’t take it for longer than 15 minutes, still an impressive feat nonetheless.


Anyways, thanks for reading my lore post if you did. I got my facts off of Halopedia so check there for OG sources.