WOMAN: “This kitchen is so hard to clean. If only there was an easier way.”

Derek Baum: “Hi, I’m Derek Baum. Say goodbye to daily stains and dirty services with the new Kitchen Gun! This sink is filthy, but with just three shots from Kitchen Gun… BANG! BANG! BANG! …and it sparkles like new. Look at how it cleans this greasy hob! BANG! BANG! BANG! GOODBYE DIRT! Grubby tiles. BANG! BANG! BANG! I LOVE YOU, KITCHEN GUN! Rusty taps. BANG! BANG! BANG! (Crazed laughter) You can even use it on the washing up. BANG! BANG! BANG! There! All clean again! New Kitchen Gun! Now with laser sight and night vision for after dark cleaning!”