If people can sit back and label goddamn golf, which is the boringest fucking sport in the world, a goddamn sport – if you can label that shit as a sport, and if you can label goddamn fishing as a sport – I know damn well you can label jacking off a sport. Think about it, what the fuck, athletically, are you really doing in, in golf, my nigga? All you’re doing is hitting a goddamn golf club…’Oh my god, man, that’s a long-ass birdie, man, nice birdie, nice putt, man! It went 250…’ Get the fuck outta here! No one cares about that boring-ass shit! Who the fuck really watches golf, my nigga….*snoring* Nobody gives a fuck; it makes niggas fall to sleep! Fishing, on the other hand…What are the fuck are you really doing, athletically, my nigga, in fishing? All you’re doing is that you’re sitting your bitch-ass up in the boat – usually it’s old-ass snaggle-teeth motherfuckers that ain’t got no goddamn teeth up in their fucking grill, or up in their mouth – they’re just sitting up in the goddamn boat – you know what I’m saying? – throwing a goddamn rod. It could be any kind of goddamn bait upon the end of the rod. It could be a worm, it could be a caterpillar, it could be a centipede, it could be a dead-ass butterfly, it could be the fucking beak of a damn bird, it could be a fuckin’ – It could be anything! You know what I’m saying? ‘Oh my God, we caught a big-ass salmon! Reel that fat bitch in! Yeah!’ Motherfucker, what are you doing athletically? How the fuck is that working up a sweat, my nigga? What, you’re working out your arms because you have to reel that motherfucker in? Nigga, that’s not a sport, dog! Well, fuck it, you know what? It is a sport! Fuck it! [If] you guys want to consider that shit to be a sport, jacking off is a fucking sport to me. Jacking off and beating your motherfucking dick to porn is a sport.