I own a coat hanger for home abortions, since that’s what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into a uterus. “What the devil?” As I grab my powdered wig and all metal hanger. Poke a BB sized hole through the first fetus, he’s dead on the spot. Draw my birth control on the second fetus, miss him entirely because it’s a preventative measure and nails the neighbors womb. I have to resort to the forceps mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with an extend arm, “Tally ho lads” the forceps shreds two fetuses in the procedure, the abortion sets off protestors. Fix syringe and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the doctor to arrive since fetus needle wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.