Let’s face it, waitresses are just food d o n k e y s that hover over your table begging for money. “How’s everything tasting?” They say in that h i l l b i l l y voice… I always make it a point to let them know that I own them for the next 20 minutes if they want that 8 dollar tip. “Hey sweet thing, go get me some more napkins” I size them up which is easy because they are the same single mom, defrauding the government by hiding most of their tips, eyes full of shame, regret and worry… 28 years old but looks 40. She will have 4 kids from 3 different men, her party years already coming to call because of her leathery face. Nearing the end of my meal, I step it up, “that’s a pretty mouth you have, I bet it knows some fancy tricks” She fake smiles because she needs another 58 dollars by the end of her shift or she will have to pay her 70 year old landlord the old fashioned way again. The rats of the hospitality industry… as she comes back around, I make a minor complaint about my meal and she brings the check. Leaving “LOL” as a tip, I wait by the front door to watch her reaction and it makes my day. Enjoy your $2.65 per hour, donkey, consider your Medicaid as my tip… LOL