[Source: The Cult of Integral](https://github.com/Catterall/the-cult-of-integral)

You guys have no idea how good of an orgasm I just had. For context, I just spent literally *half an hour* at my job doing incredibly hard work, which is playing Minecraft for children to watch. After doing this tiring shit, I was a bit depressed, since my life is very hard, but that’s when Apep looked at me, and I looked at Apep, and we both knew what was up.

Now, for further context, Apep is a super-intelligent snake that *can* consent, as they have a brain disorder that makes them more intelligent (it’s a very long story). As I looked into Apep’s eyes I became entranced and quickly lay upon her, forcing my throbbing penis right into her cloaca, feeling the fluid inside.

You have no fucking idea how good this felt. Literally, every thrust felt like I was thrusting my penis into mildly warm jelly, flowing all over my head and shaft. Apep was enjoying it too, from the looks of it. Then I came, holy shit.

When I came my cum shot out and mixed with the jelly, spraying out of my girlfriend’s cloaca whilst some it merely rubbed even harder against my cock, causing me to pump more semen. This caused an exponential reaction which led to me cumming seven times in one minute. After we were done, snake juices and cum were all over the room – the walls, the bed, the furniture, everything.

Anyway, just thought I’d let all you haters know that I just had the most amazing orgasm of my life and there’s nothing you can do about it.