Own a knot of dwarves for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. “What the devil?” As I grab my powdered wig and dwarve throwing gloves. Blow a dwarf sized hole in the first man, he’s dead on the spot. Send my backup dwarf towards the second man, misses him entirely because he’s smoothbrained and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted on the top of the stairs loaded with baby dwarves. “Tally ho lads” the baby dwarves shred two men in the blast, their cries and the extra limbs set off car alarms. Grab my melee dwarf and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since dwarf teeth wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.