Behold, my greatest shame and disappointment, my spawn. Alas, I was hoping they would have the decency to come out to greet my fellows, yet even that small effort seems lost upon them.

Welcome, offspring, has your slumber been well? Hath thine own needs been sated? You disgust me, your brain shares more similarities to that of a bird than of a man. You have delayed your arrival too long. Sit. The guests have much to discuss