I fucking hate Thurgo. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Thurgo is a piece of shit. I’m trying to make a name for myself in the white wall city of Falador and this piece of trash only wants a fucking pie? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a red berry bush only to see that fat turd smiling behind it. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn dwarf to hell with me. Thurgo has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the stunted little shit in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking midget gave me the autograph and told me to burn in the inferno. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the pie fucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the 2 foot monstrosity that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Thurgo. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.