Unfortunately Australia is very real and very deadly.

The Australian Conspiracy is the misguided and I believe ultimately futile attempt by world leaders to adhere to the old maxim, “what you don’t know can’t hurt you.”

You see; the Great Barrier Reef, a protective barrier created millions of years ago by the dinosaurs, is decaying. This barrier, erected too late to help save it’s dinosaur creators, is the sole protection that humanity along with the rest of life on earth has against the deadly Australian wildlife. Scientists believe the Australian Drop Bear alone was responsible for the majority of major extinction events on Earth. And they are just the vanguard for the countless other living death machines we’ve discovered on Australia.

Now, the reason the Australian Conspiracy has grown popular in recent years is because the power of the Great Barrier Reef that protects us all is failing. Austrailogists believe it has weakened by as much as 90% since it’s original completion. World leaders know that if it fails then the rest of the world is doomed unless we can harness the power of “what you don’t know can’t hurt you” to shield us.

I say it’s just ignoring the problem that will ultimately rear up to bite us in the ass since Australia will unleash its deadly spiders to hide under out toilet seats.

This encryption ban that everyone keeps talking about is literally just the ancient and evil power that controls these living Australian death machines trying to prevent the rest of the world from using encryption to hide all information about the existence of Australia from the people.