First, I would hit the gym. I’d work out to become a sculpted god with the specific purpose of making you wet. I’d quit my job, tell my friends to go fuck themselves, become a vegan, and then hit the gym all day every day. Maybe, I’d even move to a warmer climate, and then walk around with a portable heater and humidifier… then everything I do would be hot yoga. Driving a car – hot yoga. Sleeping – hot yoga. Eating shitty vegan food – hot yoga. Doing hot yoga – oh you’d better believe that would be some hot yoga. Haiti would be the ideal location. My perfectly sculpted body would provide visual sustenance to the starving Haitian population, nourishing them better than food ever could. Then, after a year or so, I’d organize a sleep schedule, begin routine fasting, and commence a vigorous regimen of pelvic thrusting. The purpose, here, would be to develop the stamina required to nail you for at least a week straight. This would likely take another year (the confirmed world record for sleeplessness is 11 days so training would be difficult… ideally you would also be training during this time). Following this, several months of meditation would be required to ensure that I am mentally capable of withstanding the physical marathon I have planned. I would move to Tibet with the Dalai Llama to get some instruction (coincidentally this would require solving the “free Tibet” issue, which shouldn’t take long considering the impressive pelvic thrusting ability I will have at this time – that is, I plan on butt-fucking the Chinese into submission). Upon returning I would remain abstinent for a year or so. This would ensure that my sex drive is high enough to satisfy you in ways you can’t possibly imagine. After 4 and a half years I arrive in your bedroom. During this period I have become an Adonis, solved world hunger, and brought about world peace. You are amazed by how much I have done for you and you look forward to the greatest boning in history. You slowly take off your clothes and I immediately prematurely ejaculate all over you. After a year of abstinence it is like a fire hose. The stream is so strong that you are thrown from your bed and pressed up against your bedroom wall. You are knocked unconscious and I am left standing in your bedroom in a pool of my own semen. I realize that this ejaculation has made me incredibly dehydrated so I go to your kitchen for a glass of water. I then make a sandwich. You don’t have any yellow mustard and I think “what the fuck is this shit?”. I make do anyway and I am thoroughly satisfied. After a short while I realize that you might be dead and head back to the bedroom. I open the door and the smell of roses hits me. My semen has sprung a garden. Small singing birds carry olive branches. Butterflies are fluttering around in a cool mist of perfection. A rainbow arches across your room. I push through the thick, tall roses and a baby deer emerges from the mist and eats acorns out of my hand. It leads me to you. You are awake, on your bed, surrounded by roses. My magical semen has caused you to become even hotter. I am shocked by how hot you look. You slowly take off your top and I prematurely ejaculate again! AGAIN! What the FUCK! I leave embarrassed.