I remember when I was a teenager and had a sleep over at my friend Gunthers house…
–
“You wanna come over tonight?”
“Sure.”
It was really the first time I had a sleepover. I assumed it was just going to be the 2 of us playing video games all night. But something far more interesting happened.
The day of the sleep over I packed all the things I thought I would need:
Seasonings
Headphones
Jergens lotion
And hotsauce.
Arriving at Gunthers house, I saw them standing in the driveway waiting for me. I greeted them and walked inside. Lining the walls were Confederate flags, pictures of old white men, and a whip.
“Whats that whip for?”
“Its the whip our ancestors used to discipline people like you.” the mother said.
The fuck?
We walk upstairs to Gunthers room and open the door. On the bed were 2 people having sex.
“What the hell! Get out!” they hurried off the bed and out the door.
“Who were they?” I ask.
“My brother and sister.”
The fuck?
I unpack my things and sit on the floor. Fuck sitting on that bed. The door opens and Gunther’s mom appears.
“Sweetie, you need to wash the dishes.”
“Mom Im playing with my friend!”
“But son-“
“GET THE FUCK OUT MOM!”
She closes the door and leaves. I pictured in my head what would happen if I said that to my mom. But all I saw was a casket. I look and see Gunther pulling something out from under his bed.
“Whats that?”
“A picture of my Mom when she was younger.”
“Why do you have it?”
“I jerk off to it duh.”
Yup time to go.
When everyone was asleep I snuck out of the house and walked back home. Moral of the story, dont jack off with Crisco, that shit burns.

via @typicalterome on IG https://instagram.com/p/BNVXlE-jfqo/