I know you’re eager to say it and I know you have something to say so i’ll get straight to the point: Shut the fuck up.

Nobody wants to hear it, nobody will ever want to hear it, nobody cares and the fact that you thought someone might care is honestly baffling to me. But you know what, maybe I am being a little too harsh here, I actually do have on good authority thanks to my polling data that there’s at least one person who actually wants to hear you speak. It’s a little child in Mozambique and he-… Oh- Oh? He’s dead? Welp sorry man, I guess nobody wants to hear you talk anymore. Please, shut the fuck up.

But i’m not just telling you to shut up, i’m telling you to shut the fuck up, and you need to hear it. This is a public service, I have nothing to gain from this post except by telling YOU, exactly what YOU need to hear. And on that note let me make this clear: This is not a broad message i’m aiming at all the redditors, this is a message specifically pointed at you. That’s right, YOU. You know who you are, and i’m sick of your shit. We all are in fact.

The only good you’ll ever do for humanity is refusing to participate in it. But you kinda know what i’m saying is true already, don’t you think? You understand you really should shut the fuck up. Why do you keep speaking then? I’m genuinely curious. Why do you deserve to be heard? The core of what i’m getting at is that you are not a worthwhile person. You’re not worth listening to and everything you’ve said before has been said more eloquently and more coherently. And it’s not that everything has been said, we still need people to have discourse in order to say new things and discover new things about ourselves and humanity. But you, you will never be one of those people, so shut the fuck up. But I get it, I understand you wanna respond to me huh? You wanna let me know how you feel? Go on, leave a comment, I will read every.single.one.