I jokingly flirted with an Indian friend’s mom once and we ended up doing the needful so it’s always worth a try.

Unfortunately my friendship with Rajesh took a dive when he peeked through the window of the Green high roof 1989 Maruti Omni Van that I had borrowed from my uncle and saw his busty mom strangling me with her sari as she plowed the bloody stab wound in my abdomen with a large strap-on, completely mangaling my slutty internal organs and disembowelling me as she pulled out her oversized plastic dong.

I will never forget that look of horror on my friend’s face as his mom turned around for a moment and made eye contact with her horrified son, who proceeded to drop the butter chicken take-away container he was carrying and ran away screaming like a Bieber fan caught in an Anthrax mosh pit.

Left alone again, Auntie and I just shrugged and picked up my bloody and shit covered intestines off the floor and she began to stuff them up my vajayjay.

I lost a good friend that day but the sex was pretty good lol.