Hello. My name is Shrek, I am a male ogre, at 750 lbs. I have also been committing tax evasion for 27 years. It all started when Lord Farquaad of the IRS seized my swamp, ever since then I have been on the run. I don’t know how much longer I can last, since I recently ran out of rations of onions. Hopefully, I can find a way to repay the toll to get my swamp back, but I am sure Lord Farquaad wouldn’t be willing to negotiate a price. In all my time on the run, my wife has left with the kids, and I haven’t seen them since. I can only assume they are dead. I am not saddened by this, however, for my wife, Karen was quite the bitch, and would often go to the IRS government building and bribe Lord Farquaad to seize the swamp so she can take the kids.