Trump: “We have to know who they are.
I don’t like spies.
They get me killed.”
Trump: “Well, maybe we can arrange something.”
Putin: “We’re living in the age of spies.
I remember all too well how happy the Soviet Union was when the Americans had blown up their spy ship in the Arctic.
How does that sound?”
Putin: “It sounds very nice to me.
But it’s just talk, talk, talk.
If it was up to me, I’d let you hang yourself.”
Trump: “What do you mean?”
Putin: “Well, a man has to think about the future.
It’s too expensive to keep on building the wall.
You need a long-term strategy, Mr. President.”
Trump: “We have a wonderful future in front of us.
Don’t worry.”
Putin: “I do worry.”
Trump: “So what do you suggest?”
Putin: “Why not build an underground base here?”
Trump: “That’s crazy.
That’ll cost billions!”
Putin: “I have a deal for you.
How about if you just build it for me?”
Trump: “Where?”
Putin: “In Antarctica.
It would be a huge strategic advantage.”
Trump: “The penguins will love it.”