Dropping massive steamy logs is one of my greatest joys in life. Idgaf about your “that makes you gay”. I like women AND taking gigantic shits. I will keep regularly fantasize about getting home and unleashing the one foot monster i’ve been working on for the past three days. It’s not so much the act itself i revel in, rather it’s the sense of release afterwards.

I’m not talking about that pathetic excuse for a bowel movement where you push out some puny little pellets mixed with brown sause and simply don’t need to shit anymore. That’s not release. That’s some white bread and in bed by 9 shit.

I’m talking the 13 inch, pepsi can girth protein and fiber beast that’s taking up your entire colon that you’ve dedicated your entire diet towards birthing on the regular. The kind of shit you need a pair scissors next to the toilet seat to flush. The kind of shit that you could oven dry and use as bricks to build a house. The kind of shit that’ll break a neck if dropped on a pedestrian from 3 floors up

Being free of that creature is the pinnacle of pleasure. Feeling a gust of air blowing up your gaping rektum and quite literally being 2 pounds lighter. You not being able to get up from the seat for 10 minutes afterwards due to your knees shaking. That delicate flatulant whisper whistling out of your maw like a gentle autumn breeze floating through rustling leafs after the deed is done. Like an angel finally freed from it’s rancid 3 day long captivity to its corn speckled captor it escapes and cools down your anal canal like water to a parched, dried out river in order to signal the finale of your struggle and the beginning of a great night

Your mood and spirit will never be higher than the first hour after you’ve experienced such a thrill. You’ll feel like you could eat a horse, you’ll sleep like a baby high on opioids and you’ll tell your gf get the fuck out of your bed so you can wriggle around ecstatically to the feeling of the football sized cavity left in your gutts before pooring yourself a fine scotch and lighting up a cigar in celebration. Post sex cigarette can kick dirt, no pussy in the world can compare. Fuck me, i’m gonna stock up on some more fiber right now i’m so hyped. This is going to be a good friday night. I would seriously recommend it. Be warned though. It is not for the feint of heart.