I have “professional” Facebook and Twitter accounts that I never do anything with, and I get emailed if their is activity. I’ve been told by career advisers you look weird if you don’t a social media presence. I wish I could say this during job interviews:

Them: “You don’t have Facebook?!?!? Twitter?!?!?! Instagram?!?!? Snapchat?!?!?”

Me: “Oh, I just call people on the phone or meet with them in person; look at pictures in person; make new friends sometimes and lose old ones; and get the news from the newspapers for which I have subscriptions.”

Them: “How does that even work?!?!?”

Me: “Well I don’t have crippling social anxiety or depression; it doesn’t terrify me when the phone rings; I don’t view terrorism as an existential threat; I love hearing about people’s vacations and children; looking people in the eye isn’t the literal worst thing in the world; and I can concentrate for more than 10 minute intervals. Not to brag, but I can read a whole book. So it has been working pretty well.”