Matt is a demigod. His ass eating and sword fighting skills were foretold by the Elder Scrolls, but back then black people didn’t exist so the tales were largely ignored. He has clapped the cheeks of 10 year old and 40 year old men indiscriminately. His beard is not hair, but is actually Sharpie. Hair is too scared to be on his face.

Matt is known to have killed many notable leaders, such as Osama Bin Laden, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Benito Mussolini, and Ellen DeGeneres. He was seen seconds before George H. W. Bush passed away.

Matt taught Bob Ross and Leonardo da Vinci how to paint. He then saw how much power Bob had and had to end his life unexpectedly.

Matt does not play tennis, and would rather fuck bitches and get money. However, it has been confirmed in a 2007 interview with Shigeru “Asian Anus” Miyamoto that the grass tennis court is made of 37.7% pure semen from Matt himself.

If Matt is beaten, he slaughters a small tribe in Sudan, to queef on their meat, thereby absorbing their power. His dildo stays covered in their dry blood for the rest of the rematch. Has a slight chance to deal AIDS to the player. Effect is permanent and lasts until you sacrifice your Mii to Matt himself.

Matt spiked Miyu’s drink at a party and sat on a small child, suffocating him. He also fapped to futa lolis for 5 hours straight while busting 69 consecutive nuts in a row, setting the world record for most nuts made in under a day. He appears in a secret game mode called “Mii Orgy” where he is seen titfucking Abby.

He can get a dog pregnant.

He can give himself a footjob.

Matt once ate an entire reproductive system off for $20. He then proceeded to single handedly remove his entire anus through his eyes in a fit of paranoia to stop “all them white boys tryna clap my cheeks”.

Matt likes touching Slaneesh’s futa cock as he jerks off and eats Nurgle’s gooey yumminess. Tzeentch is not invented after he dissolved 73 kids with his 26 ft cock.

His phone number is 911.

He had sex with Kim Jong Un.

During a heated gaming moment on stream, Matt had accidentally donned an entire KKK uniform.

Matt’s penis is actually void of color. Only Abby has seen it. Anyone who has seen it was killed on the spot.

 His introduction with Wii Sports caused 42 (recorded) unknown pregnancies, all of which resulted in a child able to clap ass and speak Etruscan from birth.