This is going to be lengthy. There is no short version to this. You need to read all of it and then read all of it again. Read a third time, too.

First: the little man in the boat (clit), he’s up top. You need to know to this.

For almost all women, a key ingredient to sex, oral or intercourse, is the build up; anticipation; teasing. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about sex with women, it’s this: they all like to be eaten out and fucked, but you need to make them beg you for it. Basically, the idea is to get a woman so hot and bothered that eating her out and fucking her is the easiest part.

Here’s how…

Like most things in life, you cannot rush anything. If you do, you *will* make mistakes, or you’ll forget things. Sex, oral or intercourse, is absolutely no different. One cannot just shove their or dick into a woman’s crotch and just start going at it. Women need to be kissed, teased, sucked and licked elsewhere on their body before you go down on them, and *you need to take your time doing it.*

When you have the time available to you, sex is not something you should rush in any way. Unless you’re doing a quickie, then that’s okay, however, that’s not the reason for this post.

I cannot tell you how to make your girlfriend swoon outside of the bedroom, that’s up to you. From here on out, I’m assuming you’ve done a good job on a date, or whatever, and you’re face-to-face with her in the bedroom with her.

Begin by making out with her, you know how she likes it; kiss her softly, passionately, or kiss her like she’s the last woman on this earth, if that’s what she likes. Again, take your time here. You are not in any rush whatsoever.

Turn her head and start kissing her behind her ear. Lick it lightly, using the tip of your tongue, then suck on that area a little. or maybe even bite it softly. Start moving to her neck and licking, sucking, kissing and lightly biting that as you’re walking her back towards the bed.

As you’re doing this, smoothly get your hands under her shirt and start lifting it up, but mask that you’re doing this by grabbing her on the hips, waist and stomach; spreading your hands wide and firmly grabbing as much as possible. Doing this should make you feel strong and assertive to her, like you *want* her. Continue taking her shirt off, but *not* the bra.

**Side note:** depending on what position you find yourself in taking a woman’s shirt off, if you find yourself behind her do not be afraid to kiss back there. A woman’s back and back of her neck can be a HUGE erogenous zone. This will undoubtedly turn her on.

Kiss her on the lips again, working your way to her neck, down to her chest and in her cleavage. All the while grabbing her hips and waist area to let her know you’re in control and you’ve got this. Reach behind her, unclasp her bra and take it off.

No matter how much you want, do not beeline for the nipples. **I REPEAT:** **DO NOT MAKE A BEELINE FOR THE NIPPLES.** You are not to touch them until I tell you.

**Side note:** do not worry about asking for help here if you don’t have a lot of experience doing this. Sure, you’ll look really smooth if you do it with one hand and don’t need to ask. However, it’s not a big deal if you can’t. I’ve had sex, literally, thousands of times and those fuckers still get me from time to time. Make a joke if you’re uncomfortable. Women love to laugh, and making them laugh during sex is no different. It’ll put them at ease.

At this point, she still has on her pants/skirt, and heels/shoes. You should be completely clothed. Remember, *you are not in a rush.*

Lay her down on the bed and get on top of her; almost like you’d be riding her. Lean down and start kissing her on the lips again. Now, *AS SLOWLY AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN,* make your way down to neck, and slowly to her chest (NOT her boobs).

Again, you cannot touch her nipples yet. Those little fuckers are sensitive and it *CAN* hurt.

Start kissing on the outer parts of one of her breasts while cupping the underside of it using your index finger and thumb with the appropriate hand. This outer area can be another huge erogenous zone on a woman. So, kiss, suck and give it a little bite (very fucking soft at first) only on the outer area (not inside the areola, yet, and definitely not the nipple).

**Side note:** some women like to be bitten really hard and other women not at all. You will need to read her reaction either by her moaning, saying “ow,” or looking at her face. And even if they do like to be bitten, you need to work your way up to hard bites. Otherwise, it’s going to fucking hurt.

Work your way to the underside of her breast. On a lot of women I’ve been with, this area is full of nerve endings and you’re going to drive her ape-shit. Lick it, kiss it sucking. As you’re doing that, you can progressively grab her breast more firmly in your hand. Move over to her opposite breast and do the same thing from the beginning. Remember, you’re taking your fucking time during all of this.

By this point, she should practically be begging you to put her nipples in her mouth. And she’s right, it’s about time you did that. Start by grazing your lips across them. Then lightly cup a nipple with your lips. Start sucking on them softly, progressively sucking them harder. Nibble a little bit, too, BUT NOT HARD. Breasts are an extremely sensitive area. If done right, you can drive her insane. If not, you could hurt her.

I don’t know how experienced you or your girlfriend are, but as you’re doing this, she may beg you to fuck her at some point. NOPE. If your current girlfriend doesn’t do it now, because of inexperience, she certainly will later. When she does, or another woman does, do not give in to her requests. You’re taking your time.

Once you’ve had your fun with her boobies, **EVER.** **SO.** **FUCKING.** **SLOWLY,** kiss down her stomach. When you get to her belt line, kiss on her stomach along the edge of her skirt/pants. She still has shoes on; it’s time to take those off. Start taking her skirt/pants off. As you’re pulling these down, kiss on her thighs and on her inner thighs (INNER THIGHS ARE A HUGE EROGENOUS ZONE). Step off the bed, or move back a little bit, to completely take it off. As you’re approaching her again, kiss *back up* her legs working your way back towards her underwear.

Once you’re back in position on all fours, and she’s flat on her back, start kissing her bikini line. This is the area on the edge of her panties. Again, very slowly and passionately kiss, suck, lick and nibble on these areas; they’re highly sensitive. You can also kiss the outer lips of her vagina *over* her panties. The outer lips are also a sensitive area, it’ll feel good.

**EVER. SO. FUCKING. SLOWLY.** take her panties off. As you’re doing this, kiss lower and lower as more skin is revealed. Move back, completely take her panties off.

Remember, you’re still clothed here. Mr. Smooth, taking his time and this girl is already dripping wet.

Assume the position again on all fours, or on your stomach if that’s more comfortable, and start kissing on her inner thighs, over her outer lips and on her exposed bikini line. Once you’ve done that, you’re ready to get to work.

**IF YOU SKIPPED OVER ANY OF THAT, YOU BETTER START FUCKING PAYING ATTENTION NOW.**

Here is an image of a vagina, labeled, if you haven’t seen one: [vagina.](http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Vulva_labeled.jpg)

When you are first face to face with a vagina, it’s going to look like a fucking jumbled mess and nothing like the photo here. The labia majora (outer lips) is going to mostly conceal everything.

Think of a clit as the head of your penis. You know how you don’t like teeth rubbing on your penis when you’re getting a blowjob? It’s the same thing with a clit, but get this: a clit has more nerve endings than a penis. You know what that means? IT’S EXTRA FUCKING SENSITIVE.

So, you need to begin by licking her softly. As in, barely make contact the first few strokes of your tongue. Not only is this necessary, in the beginning, but it’s going to make her *want* more. Then you can begin to push through her outer lips (labia majora) with your tongue, move in to her smaller lips (labia minora), and to her clit. Keep it soft for a while, making soft strokes with your tongue (licking up, slightly pulling your tongue back into your mouth to bring it back to its starting position to lick up again) it’s going to feel amazing to her. You do not want to overwhelm her by going too hard in the beginning. I promise you, when she wants it harder, she’s going to pull your head closer, or tell you harder.

You need to know this: while the clit gets all of the praise, it’s *not* the only game in town. The labia minora and labia majora are super fucking sensitive, too. You cannot just keep lick, lick, licking on her clit and expect her to get off. Remember, it’s sensitive and there can be such thing as too much. Give her clit a break and pay attention to her lips by licking and sucking on them, and licking them as you’re sucking on them. You can also give her clit a break by sucking and biting on the inside part of her thighs.

One major key to going down on any woman is paying attention to how she responds to what you’re doing. Believe me when I say every woman is different. Read her responses, you’ll know what works and what doesn’t.

I hit the text limit, read my reply to this comment.

Continued:

Once you can tell she’s ready for harder strokes, make long, broad strokes using most of the surface area of your tongue, and apply more pressure. She’s going to feel almost every single bump and groove on your tongue. It’s going to feel amazing.

By this point, it should be okay to suck on her clit. You can do this lightly, but you need to cover your top and bottom teeth with your lips. As you’re lightly sucking, open your mouth a little more to make way for your tongue to lick *as you’re sucking.* This, too, is going to be amazing.

Please, remember that I said her clit may need a break. So play with her lips a little bit and do the same to her inner thighs. Once you do this enough and you know when she’s getting close to cumming (she’ll tell you, or you’ll just *know* after a while), you can start edging her. Edging is getting your partner almost to the point of cumming and completely stopping what you’re doing. THIS WILL DRIVE HER ABSOLUTELY FUCKING INSANE.

At this point, you can start to give her some g-spot stimulation. Pull your mouth away and lick the middle finger of whichever hand you choose (I feel the middle finger is easiest. If you’re using two fingers, middle and ring) and slowly insert it. Now, if you follow the front wall of her vagina (sticking your finger slightly in and up, then back towards you, that’s the front wall) up to the “ceiling” you should be able to find her g-spot. Just remember to things very softly down here. It’s a sensitive area.

**Side note:** you should be able to tell you’ve hit the g-spot by the moan she lets out, or possible, “Holy shit.” If you’re unsure as to whether or not you’ve hit it, ASK. This is the general area the g-spot is found in. It can be in slightly different places on different women.

You’re going to want to lightly stroke this area with a “come here” motion (like you’d motion someone to come here with your index finger). Again, do this lightly. This is a highly sensitive area and too hard can feel like it’s too much, or like you’re stabbing the inside of her with the eraser end of a pencil. So, again, I stress lightly… like you’re brushing up against it. Gradually you can apply more pressure, but not too much. You should also know that this “come here” motion may not work on all women. If it doesn’t, she’ll let you know.

Hopefully, she gets to the point of orgasm. When she does, it’s okay to apply more pressure with your tongue here. My favorite thing to do on women is sucking their clit (with my teeth covered by my lips) really hard, while licking their clit really hard, rubbing her g-spot and grabbing one of her breasts. This drives most women I’ve been with insane. Unlike men, a woman’s orgasm lasts a lot longer than a guy’s. So, keep going, it’s not over after two-three seconds. But when she’s peaked (you’ll just kind of know when that is after a while), you’ll need to ease off how much pressure you’re applying and basically “come down” from the feeling of the orgasm with her.

So, once you’ve got this down, you can work on things like giving her a g-spot orgasm, using just your fingers, then diving in and licking her clit to give her a clitoral orgasm immediately after. Trust me, her clit will thank you itself when you do something like this.

Just please remember to take your time and *have fun.* Make her getting off just as much of a priority as you getting off and she will want to fuck you over and over again.

**And you better fucking read all of this because I spent a lot of time writing it out. If you don’t, I’ll find you and cut your dick off.**